Two Are Better than One: biblical Brotherhood

Written By Adam Dragoon

Sermon Summary

In today's exploration of Ecclesiastes chapter 4, we delve into the profound importance of relationships, particularly focusing on the necessity of brotherhood among men. While this message is tailored for men, it holds valuable insights for everyone. The analogy of basketball serves as a starting point, illustrating that even the most talented individual cannot succeed without a team. Similarly, in the Kingdom of God, we are called to work together, laying down individual goals for the greater good of the community.

Reflecting on childhood friendships, we remember the simplicity and honesty of those early bonds. As adults, however, we often find ourselves isolated and burdened by responsibilities and the demands of life. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 highlights the benefits of companionship: shared labor, support in times of trouble, warmth in cold seasons, and strength in battle. These verses remind us that we are not meant to journey through life alone. The church is likened to a dragnet, a collection of interconnected relationships that work together to fulfill God's purpose on earth. Just as a net is only effective when its threads are tightly woven, so too is the church effective when its members are united in love and purpose.

Men, in particular, face challenges in forming deep friendships due to societal expectations, pride, and a survivalist mentality. Yet, the Bible encourages us to seek out and invest in meaningful relationships. The story of David and Jonathan exemplifies the power of brotherhood, demonstrating loyalty, sacrifice, and a lasting legacy.

As we reflect on our own lives, we are encouraged to foster friendships that will endure into eternity. Relationships are the most precious investment we can make, as they are the only treasures we will carry with us beyond this life. Let us strive to build strong, godly friendships that reflect the love of Christ and strengthen the body of believers.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. There’s the road. Off you go! But if you want to go far, we go together.”
— Rafiki (The Lion King)

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Key Takeaways

  1. The Power of Teamwork: Just as a basketball team relies on each player, the kingdom of God thrives on unity and collaboration. We are called to lay down individual goals for the greater good, working together to fulfill God's purpose. [08:15]

  2. The Necessity of Brotherhood: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 emphasizes the importance of companionship in shared labor, support during falls, warmth in cold seasons, and strength in battle. We are not meant to journey through life alone. [27:29]

  3. Overcoming Isolation: Men often struggle with forming deep friendships due to societal expectations and pride. Yet, the Bible encourages us to seek out and invest in meaningful relationships, as they are vital for spiritual growth and support. [40:28]

  4. The Legacy of Friendship: The story of David and Jonathan exemplifies the power of brotherhood, demonstrating loyalty, sacrifice, and a lasting legacy. Every David needs a Jonathan, and every Jonathan needs a David. [45:45]

  5. Eternal Investments: Relationships are the most precious investment we can make, as they are the only treasures we will carry with us beyond this life. Let us strive to build strong, godly friendships that reflect the love of Christ. [50:53]

Bible Reading

  • Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV - 9 Two [are] better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him [who is] alone when he falls, For [he has] no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm [alone]? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

  • Genesis 2:18 NKJV - 18 And the LORD God said, "[It is] not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

  • Proverbs 27:17 NKJV - 17 [As] iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Observation Questions

  1. According to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, what are the benefits of companionship mentioned in the passage? How do these benefits relate to the analogy of a basketball team used in the sermon? [08:15]

  2. In the sermon, the pastor mentioned the Jewish tradition of requiring ten committed men to form a synagogue. What does this tradition signify about the importance of male relationships in spiritual communities? [08:15]

  3. How does the analogy of a dragnet, as described in Matthew 13:47, illustrate the role of the church in building relationships and fulfilling God's purpose? [40:28]

  4. What are the four levels of relationships mentioned in the sermon, and how do they differ from one another? [08:15]

Interpretation Questions

  1. Why might men, in particular, struggle with forming deep friendships, according to the sermon? How does societal expectation play a role in this struggle? [40:28]

  2. The sermon highlights the story of David and Jonathan as an example of brotherhood. What qualities of their relationship are emphasized, and why are these qualities important for building lasting friendships? [45:45]

  3. How does the concept of "iron sharpening iron" from Proverbs 27:17 relate to the necessity of male friendships in the church? What does this metaphor suggest about the nature of these relationships? [27:29]

  4. The sermon suggests that relationships are the most precious investment we can make. How does this perspective challenge or affirm your current view of friendships and their importance in your life? [50:53]

Application Questions

  1. Reflect on your current friendships. Are there any relationships that you feel need more investment or attention? What steps can you take this week to strengthen those bonds? [50:53]

  2. The sermon discusses the importance of overcoming isolation. Have you experienced isolation in your life? What practical steps can you take to reach out and build meaningful connections with others? [40:28]

  3. Consider the analogy of the church as a dragnet. How can you contribute to strengthening the "net" of your church community through your relationships? [40:28]

  4. The story of David and Jonathan highlights loyalty and sacrifice. Is there a friendship in your life where you can demonstrate these qualities more intentionally? How might this impact your relationship? [45:45]

  5. The sermon encourages us to build friendships that will endure into eternity. What specific actions can you take to ensure your friendships reflect the love of Christ and have a lasting impact? [50:53]

  6. Think about a time when you fell and needed support. How did having or lacking a supportive friend affect your experience? How can you be that supportive friend for someone else? [27:29]

  7. The sermon mentions the importance of being friendly to have friends. How can you practice being more approachable and open to forming new friendships in your daily interactions? [50:53]

  • Let's open up our Bibles this morning. We want to look into the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 4.

    And today I want to preach a message God put on my heart that is kind of tailored for men, but will be helpful, hopefully, to everyone as well.

    Any basketball fans? We got basketball fans in the house. All right. I like watching basketball. I like playing basketball, even though I'm no good at it. I do like throwing an elbow here and there. Watch out, just in case.

    But one thing that's true about basketball is that in basketball, you can have some outstanding individual players, but if that's all you have, that is not a successful formula. In other words, you could have a great player, but if he is on a bad team, that is not going to win games. You can almost, in fact, predict. There have been many occasions where individual players have big scoring games, like somebody can score over 50 or 60 points. But isn't it amazing that those games, they often end up losing the game?

    Because what happens is a team will end up leaning too much on the talent of one individual and will not spread out the burden among the whole team. I want to say that that's also true about the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is not about individual solo players. We have our king. We have one king. Jesus is our king.

    And in his church, the church that Jesus said, "I will build my church," that church is a team sport. How many believe that? And we will succeed or fail. We will find his blessing or not based on our willingness to play team sports together, to work with one another. The kingdom is a team where we must be willing to lay down our individual goals and begin to put one another above ourselves.

    There's an article that inspired this message written by a guy named Greg Morse. And he speaks to men. And I want to kind of tailor this. I want the men to perk up your ears for a few moments with me this morning. Ladies, you're going to get something out of this too. Don't worry.

    But men, can you remember when we had friends? Can you remember back in our own way and without shame, we would ask one another, "Will you be my friend?" When you were young, when you were on the playground, when you were vulnerable, when you were honest, and you would know that someone would have your back? Back when we didn't have better things to do, back when the grass was worn to dirt through tackle football, back when the garage was dented from alley oops, and when our allowance was spent at the movies.

    Can you remember that far back? The days of little league and basketball at recess and trying to swindle guys into swapping your PBJ sandwich for more chicken nuggets? Can you remember those sleepover days? Those girls have cooties, but we still kind of like them days? The days chasing each other around, stumbling toward manhood, the days when making their joys your joys and their beef your beef.

    Back when playing ball games and riding bikes was a sacred place of joke telling, fear sharing, dream making, when friends became brothers and the fatherless found families. You know, back when we had friends. But now we're grown. We have jobs. We pay bills. We have wives and kids. Text replies take longer, delivered by carrier pigeon sometimes. You need to figure life out on your own. You're a man now. Besides, you're no longer who you were. Jesus found you.

    The friendships worsened. What partnership can light have with darkness? What now? So the author goes on to say, "You are now in the church, and you've met good men to be sure. No denying there are brothers in the most profound sense, brothers in the Lord. But you haven't found brothers in the more functional sense—a friend to spend time with, confide in, and have your back. A man who knows you, a man whose hands you love to strengthen in the Lord, but one you do things with besides studying the Bible. A man who isn't caged into blocks on the calendar. A man you admire, trust, and come to love as your own soul."

    Somebody, one comedian joked that one of Jesus' greatest miracles was that over the age of 30, he had 12 adult male friends. And we hear that and we smile, and then we cringe. Why should relationships like this be so rare? Does God's word give us expectations that we should want to be this kind of friend or pray for this kind of friend, to desire to have these kinds of male friends? I think it does.

    I think we can find in the word of God a great encouragement for men and for women to have thriving, powerful friendships with one another. I'm preaching to men specifically because we have a hard time with this. Women, this comes a little bit more naturally to you. But I want to read the scripture in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 to encourage men and encourage all of us to defeat the self-seeking spirit and to reach out in friendship to others, and especially here within the house of the living God.

    Let's read these wise words written by King Solomon. Ecclesiastes 4, verse 9: "Two are better than one." How many said amen? "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe—that means danger or lamentations—woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? The one may be overpowered by another; two can withstand. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

    Let's pray. Father, we come by the precious blood of Jesus. I'm thanking you, Lord, that because of the blood that was shed, because of the life-giving spirit that you send into the hearts of your people, Lord, you have enabled us to overcome the power of sin, and you, God, have called us into family one toward another. I pray that we would experience that level of family, God, in a new way with a renewed heart toward brothers and sisters in Christ. And I thank you for your spirit this morning, God. Help us to defeat this mentality of me and myself, and I'm praying, God, that you would help us in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.

    Let's give God praise this morning about all that he wants to do. Hallelujah! I believe that God wants us to find value in relationship. I want to talk to you a moment about brotherhood. And so ladies, stick with me too; there's some helpful things here.

    But for the men here, I want to encourage you. Did you know that for a Jewish synagogue to exist, there are Jewish synagogues all around the world? But in order for a synagogue to begin, they will not even begin the process of starting a Jewish synagogue until there are 10 committed men in the community willing to commit one to another. And that doesn't mean that women are not important in the process, but it means that if we don't have at least 10 men like-minded, seeking God's will, to search the scriptures and to do life together, then it's not worth having a synagogue.

    And even now, I know of a synagogue right here in Virginia Beach, right off of Indian River Road. I'm speaking to a man who was one of those 10 men for his synagogue, and he was lamenting to me. He was upset because the synagogue is having to shut down. I said, "Really? They're shutting down? Why?" He says, "We're joining with another synagogue out in Chesapeake." And I said, "What's the reason for that?" He says, "Well, we don't have our 10." We don't have our quorum. They call it a quorum.

    And so with every service that passes by, they are supposed to have at least 10 men in the building together. And they said, "At our location, just changing of times, just different seasons of life, and we don't have our 10." And so we're going to be joining together with our other Jewish brothers out there in Chesapeake so that we have at least our 10. And by that rule of thumb, that's how they determine where a Jewish synagogue must go.

    And I think that there is wisdom—there is wisdom in that. The health of male relationships goes, so does the health of the church. There are four levels, they say, of relationship: acquaintances, casual friends, close friends, and intimate or bonded friends.

    Let's examine those quickly. There are people that you know—acquaintances. People that you know them by name or by face, but you don't share personal life with. Co-workers, for example, that you greet on a daily basis. Neighbors that you wave at as you're driving by. Classmates that you could reach out to or remember from previous times. And the connection you have with acquaintances is superficial. It's small talk. It's situational. "How about that rainstorm we had the other day?" You know, that's the kind of conversation you have with an acquaintance. Emotional closeness is low.

    Second, you have casual friends. These are people that you would enjoy spending time with occasionally, but you never go deep with them. For example, maybe gym buddies or volunteers. This is where many people are with their relationships in their church—casual friends. They're co-volunteers, they're members of the same groups. For example, the connection between these casual friends are shared interests or environments, but fun, but without showing vulnerability.

    Thirdly, we have close friends. These would be trusted companions—people that you confide in and share life with. The examples are friends that you've known for years—people who, when you have trouble, when you have a crisis, they're going to be there for you. Spiritual brothers and sisters, lifelong family friends. The connection we have with close friends is a shared values, emotional support, and deep abiding conversations.

    And lastly, we have intimate or bonded friends. This is what we would know as our inner circle. And who are these people? These are your heart people. For husband or a wife, this should be your spouse. This is the closest friends that you have in life—deep, loyal, life-giving friendships. But it's not limited to marital relationships. You can have intimate and bonded friendships with others, with people that you are very close to—best friends, chosen family. The connection, the marker of this is emotional vulnerability.

    I can share my secrets, my strengths, my weaknesses. And so obviously in life, there's going to be different numbers of these different friend groups for each person.

    Welcome back, y'all. Give y'all a second to get settled. We're talking about friendships here and the different levels of different kinds of friends. Dunbar is a British anthropologist who proposed that humans are able to maintain different levels of these different friend groups. Casual friends, you can maintain about 150 different acquaintances. You can maintain about 50 close friends. You can maintain about 15 very good friends, and only a maximum of about five intimate friendships.

    If you examine your own life, you will probably figure that out pretty quick—that the people that you would consider to be best friends is under the number five, right? The people that are good friends is under the number 15. The people that are casual close acquaintances is under the number 50.

    And so we see this also reflected in the life of Jesus. Think about Jesus. We get some numbers when it comes to the life of Jesus. For example, after Jesus went to heaven, he gave a command to the remaining church. How many were in that group? In the book of Acts, at the beginning, it was 120 that were gathered in the upper room, right? But then when Jesus was beginning his ministry, he sent out his disciples to go and preach to different cities, and in that group, there were 70 people—70 that he counted on to go and preach his message of hope.

    Of course, he had his group of 12, a group of 12 disciples that followed him and went with him all places. Then even within the group of 12, he has an inner circle. He has three—Peter, James, and John—that he takes with him to the top of the mountain. So we see this at work even in the life of Jesus—that he had a couple of best friends, three best friends, and even within the three, there's one who leaned on his shoulder at the last supper—the apostle John. Maybe we could say that he was his best friend out of all three.

    And so it is natural and it is normal for us to have different levels of relationships with different people. That is a good thing. You could not have 25 best friends; that wouldn't be possible. The people that you share your deepest secrets and most personal details with is a small number, and that's okay.

    But the point of this is that I think men specifically, we struggle with friendships, relationships, and there's some reasons for that. Ladies, if you have a husband, you have men in your life, you need to pray for them to have good, stable relationships with other men.

    Why do we struggle with relationships? Well, men, first of all, it's because we value loyalty, right? We value loyalty. And so if you burn me, I'm going to take that personally. The byproduct of the love of loyalty is that if we get hurt, we experience betrayal, we tend to back away from others.

    Guys, can we be honest? Sometimes we're too lazy or we're too busy to have friends. And by the way, those are cousins—too lazy and too busy. They are related. It comes down to an inability to manage our time well. We're constantly juggling the responsibilities of life, and we don't have time to maintain friendships.

    We also have a survivalist mentality. You remember how God made man in the beginning? God put a man in the middle of an outdoor survivalist experience. It was like man versus wild. And isn't it interesting that some of the favorite shows of men are like survival shows where a man has to see how long he can last with no help from anybody else for 20, 30, 40 days? These are among the most popular shows that men watch.

    And this reflects the reality that man's primitive state was that he was alone in the garden. God looked at that man and he said, "That's not good." Can we be honest today and say that man in his own power, in his own strength, a man to be alone, that is not good? Can we be honest about that?

    Genesis 2, verse 19: "The Lord God formed the ground, all the wild animals and the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, the birds, the wild animals, but there was no helper right for him. And the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper.'"

    This is what Solomon begins to pick up on in our scripture. In Ecclesiastes chapter 4, verse 7, he begins to observe this about men. Watch carefully. "I observe yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. It's the case of the man who is all alone, without child or brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, 'Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now? It is all so meaningless and depressing.'"

    See, a man is made to work. We love work. We love finding. In fact, ladies, if you didn't know this, when men get together, do you know what Solomon says? It ends up meaningless and depressing—a man who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can, but he's all alone, without child or brother.

    And because men have ego, because men have pride, there's something attractive to us about being able to handle life on our own. Isn't that weird? There's this little thing about our fallen nature that says, "I don't need anybody. I want to go live in a cabin on top of a mountain somewhere." Right? That's attractive to men. I don't want to have to lean on or depend on or rely on anybody else. We don't like to ask for help. For most men, it's painful to admit that you need help.

    Am I preaching to anybody this morning? So we bring all of this into the church. We bring all of this into our experience now as believers in Jesus. He has touched our lives. He has changed us. He has made us into new people. Now how are we supposed to live? How are men supposed to be part of the church? The world beats up on men, says toxic masculinity, even young people.

    And so we come into the church, and Jesus makes a powerful parallel in Matthew chapter 13. This is something that I picked up from Pastor Ray Ruby. He used this in a sermon that I heard preached in the year 2005, and it has stuck with me ever since that time, and I use this illustration often.

    And I want you to capture this with me from Matthew chapter 13, verse 47: "The kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet that was cast into the sea and gathered some of every kind, which when it was full, they drew to the shore and sat down and gathered the good into vessels but threw the bad away. And so it will be at the end of the age. Angels would come forth, separate the wicked from among the just."

    Didn't Jesus say, "Come and follow me, and I will make you what? Fishers of men"? Now we got some fishermen in the house today. Fishing today can be a very solo experience—like just a man and his rod and his reel can go out and catch a few fish. And it can also be a social activity. But that's not how fishing was in the days of Jesus.

    How did they fish in his days? With a net. They used a net. Now there was the kind of net that you throw—like you maybe saw it on The Chosen—and then you pull it back in and you catch many fish at the same time. There's also what Jesus spoke about here, something called a dragnet. Now this is a special kind of net that is woven in a special kind of shape, like a sail, and it's pulled from the top of the boat, and it drags as the boat moves across the surface of the water.

    There's a rope that connects to the net, which is at the bottom of the sea or the lake or whatever it was. And as that net drags across the bottom, it's filling up with whatever it can. Mind you, Jesus uses that net as an illustration of the church. The kingdom of heaven on earth is like a dragnet. We, as a body of believers, are that net dragging through.

    Listen, we're connected to heaven, right? There's a rope between us and the kingdom of God, and God has us down here in this wicked world pulling up all kinds of manner of different stuff, and he's going to bring us up one day. And guess what? It's God's job to sort out the good from the bad. That's not our job; that's his job. But we are supposed to be the net that is collecting as much as is possible.

    Why? This is why we invite people to church. This is why we put it on social media. This is why we publish our calendar. This is why we make announcements. We're doing all of this dragging across this world, trying to pick up as many as we can. Thank God, right?

    But think about that net. A net is nothing more than a collection of individual strands that have been tied together in knots. Is that right? Would it be effective to take a hundred threads or a hundred ropes all disconnected from each other and drag those across the bottom of the lake? That wouldn't do anything, would it? All you would do is pick up snags.

    And so what do they do? The good fisherman, he begins to tie together his threads to tie together his knots. And as the strength of those individual threads, those individual knots—however strong those knots are—means however strong the net is. If you have holes in the net, is it effective? No.

    Here's what I'm telling you: the church is the net. And then our church, every church, is held together by relationships, friendships. The most basic fundamental relationship is, of course, the family—husband and wife, mother and father, and children. That family unit is the basis for all other human institutions. But the church also exists in a gathering—a fellowship, right? A brotherhood.

    And I want to say that if a church is only individual strands, we can't be effective. If a church is full of holes and broken relationships, it cannot do what it's supposed to. Ephesians 4:13: "Till we all come to the unity of the faith and knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ."

    So in our scripture in Ecclesiastes chapter 4, Solomon identifies four reasons why brotherhood is powerful—why we, as men, and not just men, but all people, why we should seek strong and healthy relationships. Are you ready for these?

    Number one: a brother for the work. Ecclesiastes 4, verse 9 said, "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil." The Hebrew word for toil there talks about hard labor, burden-bearing work. Let me ask you, is it better to do a hard job on your own or with others? Many hands make light work, as the saying goes.

    And we're going to discover that together as we labor on Saturday. Like, I can work for two weeks straight on the church building, but when y'all come together, you can accomplish in three or four hours what I couldn't do in two or three weeks. That's the power of joint labor.

    Why do we need brothers? Men, why do you need relationships with other men? Because you got a lot of work to do, and you can't do it all on your own. The first place we see the blessing of brotherhood is in our labors. It's not just about coffee shop meetings or church meetings. We should be looking at how to live life together, to share a burden.

    Jesus said, "Lay your yoke upon me. Give your burdens to me." He said, "Don't try to do all of that on your own." Now we know that there are spiritual burdens that only Jesus can meet, but among men, among friendships, listen, how many men have I talked to, and even myself, I would choose rather to bear my own burden just because I'm embarrassed to share it with somebody else? How often is that the case with men?

    Many men—the Bible has that famous verse in Proverbs 27, verse 17: "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." And I've even seen t-shirts about iron sharpening iron. And you know, the thing about iron sharpening iron is that those two pieces of metal have to be in contact with each other for that process to happen.

    It can't be one piece of iron on this side of the city and another piece of iron on that side of the city. They don't get sharpened just by hanging out in different places, right? Iron has that process of iron sharpening iron through the experience of life, contact. And if we don't experience that, what happens? We become dull because of lack of sharpening.

    Like a knife, a knife is not able to sharpen itself. It needs another piece of hard metal. And this is why male relationships are so important. We want our men to be sharp. How do we get that sharpness? Through contact and relationship.

    The second thing that we find is a brother for the fall. Look at verse 10. It says, "Two are better than one, for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up."

    Can I be real with guys, with everybody here? There's going to be times that you fall. There's going to be times that I fall. As I mentioned during the Sunday school this morning, this may be surprising to you: I am not a perfect Christian. There are times all of us fall, all of us stumble. And the Bible says, "Woe! Danger! Curse upon the man who is alone when he falls and doesn't have anyone to pick him up."

    The reason why you need brothers, my men, is because you are going to fall. The question is, will you have someone there to help you to get back up? It's sad to me to think about how many churches are filled with Christian men that spiritually are lying on the ground, fallen, and no one to help them.

    This is why relationships are give and take. Sometimes I'm going to be strong; I'm going to have the strength to pick others up. There's going to be other times when I'm weak, and I need others to pick me up. This is the glory of a good marriage relationship, also, by the way. In a marriage relationship, hopefully, you don't have two people at the same time that are falling. You want to have one that keeps the other accountable.

    But this is so true in relationships, in friendships. Good brothers are the hands of God to help us when we fall. They come to us at our lowest. They listen, they offer correction and prayer. Doesn't the Bible say we should confess our sins one to another? That's evidence that we're going to fall and that we need help when we do.

    When life leaves us doubled over, heartbroken, unable to stand, there would be men and Christian brothers and sisters around us to weep with us and to pick us back up again.

    The third one is a brother for the cold. Verse 11 of Ecclesiastes 4 says, "If two lie down together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?" The idea here is not just staying warm in a snowstorm, although that's true, right? But the idea here is a spiritual fire.

    How many of you have ever found yourself spiritually cold? It's like a campfire. And when a fire falls off—when a log falls off of the fire, rather—the fire keeps going, but that log grows cold, right? And so how do you get that log back on fire? You put it back on the campfire, right?

    And so those logs, as they're together, they're generating that heat. I want to say that that's true among a group of men, among brethren within the church—that when there are two or three, like Jesus said, gathered in my name, I am there among them—that we grow warm when we are working together.

    Even redeemed hearts will grow cold when they're on their own because we are passing through a wintry world. Like in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, when it was always winter but never Christmas—that's kind of like the world we live in. And if we find ourselves alone, without brothers, without sisters, it won't be long until we are chilled or suffering from sin or distraction.

    Room temperature religion leads us to destruction. Jesus said, "Be hot or be cold; don't be lukewarm." So how do we stay hot? How do we stay warm? We put our arms around each other, and we encourage one another, and we stir up the good works, like Paul said to Timothy: "Stir up your faith, young man."

    The wise prophet, the raccoon or Rafiki—what was he, a monkey or something?—he said, "If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, we go together." Hey, there's some wisdom in Disney movies of gold, right?

    We need some real brothers who burn with real passion for the kingdom. We need them; they need us to warm us on cold and lifeless days so that our hearts and our faith would not freeze.

    Lastly, we need a brother for battle. Verse 12 says, "Two are better than one, though a man might prevail against one who is alone. Two will withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

    I want to tell you, there's battles ahead. There are wars for your soul. There are battles in life. There are spiritual battles. There are just family battles. There are financial battles. I don't know about you, but when I'm going into a battle, I don't want to go in alone. I want to have people that are with me, that believe in me, that trust me, and I trust them—that we can face enemies together in the time of need.

    See, if you are here today and all you're looking out at is a meadow of beautiful flowers, now you don't need any help for that. But if you look out on a battlefield and you see an advancing army, what do you do? Say, "I need some well-trained, battle-seasoned warriors by my side."

    When you have a prayer need, when there is a desperate need in your life, you know what you need? You need more than just your individual prayer. Thank God for that; we can approach the throne of grace each one of us at any time. But when you have a prayer, there's a reason why we have a prayer group—why we take our needs and we put those burdens on people that we trust—because we need brothers for war.

    Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Not for days when everything's good, but for adversity. If you have those kinds of men—ladies, if you have those kinds of women—may whatever lies ahead beware.

    Deuteronomy 32, verse 30 says, "How could one chase a thousand and two put ten thousand to flight?" That's God math right there. If one can chase after a thousand, but two can chase after ten thousand, there's a multiplication of our forces joined together.

    So let's close with this. How do we build our brotherhoods? There's an example of an amazing brotherhood in the scripture—that's the relationship between David and Jonathan. The Bible says their hearts were knit together.

    And it's very interesting because Jonathan was the son of King Saul, right? Jonathan was Saul's son. And so that means if Saul dies, Jonathan is the natural one to take that position as king of Israel. But even though Jonathan has this connection to the king, he looks at David. David's the one who's been anointed by God. Saul was the one who was jealous, and so Saul hated David.

    And there was strife there, but Jonathan found in David a friendship. They made a covenant of friendship—a deep bond of loyalty. Even as the destiny of David was unclear, Jonathan offered unwavering support to David, even as his father was increasingly jealous of David, his popularity, and successes.

    There was mutual sacrifice and generosity. Jonathan just demonstrated his friendship by giving David his robe, his sword, and his tunic, even risking his own life to protect David against the threats of his father, King Saul. There was an emotional bond between them. There was loyalty and a lasting legacy.

    You know, long after Jonathan died, David was sitting around as king, and he thought to himself, "You know what? I want to be a blessing to the house of Jonathan." Years after Jonathan had died, he's still thinking about that relationship—that man that helped me, that man that supported me. I want to bless his house.

    "Are there any living members of the house of Jonathan left?" And they went and they found that guy who was lame in his feet. The guy's name was Mephibosheth, and he brought this man, who was a son of Jonathan, and brought him to the king's table and blessed him and helped him.

    This is the mark of a lasting legacy of friendship. Do you have anybody in your life like that? Every David needs a Jonathan, and every Jonathan needs a David. Are we willing to lay down our differences to foster unity? This is why it's hard for many people to become good friends with others—why? Because we're prideful, and we don't like laying down our differences.

    Psalm 133, verse 1: "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity."

    How do we foster good relationships? Men, can I say this? Show up. Make the effort to spend time with other men. We have men's events; it's worth it. What I tell people is that when we do a men's discipleship meeting, you know, we have a special service just for men. There's a reason why we do that. We want to foster that because men are not good at this naturally.

    And so sometimes the fellowship with other men is better than the message we got out of it. It's just spending time with other men. Proverbs 18, verse 24: "A man who has friends must himself be friendly."

    I'll just let that sink in for a second. If you treat everybody like trash, no wonder you don't have any friends, right? A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

    And finally, today, there are the promise of multiplied rewards. Our scripture ends with this: "A threefold cord is not quickly broken." Now, we normally use that scripture in the context of marriage, right? We have a husband, we have a wife, and we have a third cord, which we believe is God—his power, his spirit influencing.

    But listen, that's true of any human relationship. It's not just about marriage. That between friendships, I'm so grateful that I have, over the years, developed friendships with men that, even if I haven't spoken to them in a year or more, I can call them and have a meaningful relationship, a meaningful conversation with them that I get something out of, they get something.

    Do you have men like that in your life? Ladies, I know it's a little bit easier, but it's not as easy for everyone. This is something that we should foster.

    Let me ask you this as we close. What is the one thing that we have on earth now that will endure in eternity? Okay, what do you got in your house today that a hundred years, a thousand years from now in eternity, you're still going to have? Your iPhone? Is that going to be there? Your house, your cars, your clothes? Any of that stuff going to be there in a thousand years?

    You know what you will have? You'll have your friends—friends in the Lord. You'll have family—brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers. You'll have those. This is why relationships are the most precious thing that we can endure, that we can build, that we can invest in this side of heaven. People are precious.

    What did Jesus die for? He died for people. He died for broken and lost people. And so that's why it is so important this morning that you and I will invest in relationships of great trust. Thank God for his mercy. Thank God for his mercy.

    Jesus died so that he could repair the most important relationship—that's between you and God. After salvation, after that vertical relationship is restored, he also wants us to build the horizontal relationships. You and I, we all need to invest in a few good friendships.

    If you're looking at your life right now and saying, "Wow, I really feel like Solomon. I feel like what he said—laboring, toiling, but it's meaningless because I have nobody to share it with." And this, I would pray for you this morning. This would inspire you to begin investing and being invested in by others.

    Let's bow our heads this morning. We're going to close our eyes for just a moment. We bring this service to a close. There is a bond of brotherhood. This is especially for men because we have an especially hard time with it. But I believe this morning that God would speak to everyone—men and women alike—that we need to invest our lives in relationships.

    It can be hard. You know why? Because people can be hard. People can hurt you. You can get burned. But that doesn't change the reality that we need friends. We need relationships of trust.

    As we bring this service to a close today, and as God is dealing with our hearts, I want to take a moment to speak to you about the most important relationship in your life—that's your relationship with God. Every one of us here, God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross so that he could have a relationship with you.

    The act of sacrificial love that Jesus displayed, giving his own life, his body on the cross—no man took his life; he said, "I freely give it" as a willing sacrifice in your place. You and I, we're the ones who sinned. We're the ones who broke the commandments of God. And yet Jesus offers to take our place. He took our punishment on that cross.

    And if you will trust in him today, the Bible says that your sins can be washed away. Now you can have new life with God. You can have a relationship, even a friendship with God. It might seem impossible; it might seem strange to believe that, but it's true. God did not make you to suffer; he made us to enjoy his presence forever.

    And if you want to enjoy the presence of God, the only way to find that is not through religion. It's not through church attendance. The way that we find that is through trusting in Jesus, the Son of God, the Messiah, the one who fulfilled all the scriptures.

    And he is here by his spirit this morning to touch somebody's heart. You're here today. You say, "Pastor, you're talking about me. I'm not right with God. I'm not living for him. I'm not doing right. But he's caught my attention today. I believe God brought you here for such a time as this. He brought you here with this purpose. He wants to save you. He wants to change your life. You'll be a new creation in Christ."

    If that's you, you're here this morning and you say, "Pastor, please pray for me. I want to receive Christ as my Savior. I want to turn from my sins and trust in Jesus." Then I would love to pray for you. Is that someone here with an uplifted hand? And you'd say, "Pastor, please pray for me. I'm not right with God, but I want to be."

    Please don't miss this opportunity. The spirit of God is moving. Don't allow this moment to pass you by without responding in faith. I believe that Jesus can save me. Is that you? Quickly slip up a hand right now. Don't worry about what others are thinking or saying or doing. Right now is between you and God. Are you right with him? You can get right before you leave.

    Can I see your hand? You just slip it up right now. Say, "Pastor, pray for me. I need salvation. I need healing. I need a new start in life." Amen.

    Somebody's here today, and you're struggling with relationships. This could be a lot of people, but we're going to open up this altar for prayer. Relationships, again, are the most precious thing this side of heaven because they're the only thing that will last in eternity.

    But there's people here today that you struggle with relationships because you've been hurt, because you've been burned, and you build up walls, and you refuse to trust. And there's men in this place who are single warriors. You're solo on the battlefield. You're struggling because you have nobody that you can trust and nobody that trusts you.

    And I want to open up this altar today. We're going to ask God to help us to develop strong relationships—men and women alike. We want to open up this altar for prayer. Would you come right now and say, "Lord, help me. Help me, Lord. I want you to help me to be a friend and to develop good and godly friendships—a brotherhood, a sisterhood."

    This altar is open. This altar is open. This altar is open. This altar is open. Let's stand up to our feet. Let's begin to pray.

    Jesus said, "You will know me. The world will know that you are mine because of the love that you have for one another." If you want to respond right now in faith, will you come to this altar together and pray with us? Will you come and begin to cry out to the Lord and admit your weakness and your brokenness here?

    We're going to pray together. Come on, church, let's lift up our voices in prayer. Let's kneel before the Lord. Let's begin to pour out our hearts. You know a lonely man? Why don't you pray for him this morning? Why don't you pray that God would open up his heart?

    Come on, let's begin to cry out to the Lord together in this place. Lord, we thank you. Oh, we need you, Lord. We thank you. Oh, the spirit of the living God. We need you. Thank you, Lord, for your grace. Thank you for your spirit. Thank you for your mercy.

    Oh God, help us, Lord. We thank you. We praise you. I pray, God, that you would touch men of this congregation. Speak, God, and bring revival to relationships, God, in this place—friendships, a brotherhood of believers. I pray.

    Oh, we need you, Lord. We give you praise. We give you glory. You are on your throne, my God. We give you glory. Worthy of praise and glory today. Thank you for your spirit. Holy God, I give you glory.

    Oh, the spirit of the living God, we need you. Oh God, that you would build your net. Bind together the relationships of trust that we might be fruitful and effective as the net going out into this broken world and picking up what you have called.

    Oh, Jesus, there'd be men in this place who develop strong friendships, I pray. Oh, we give you glory and praise this morning. Thank you for your spirit. Help us, Lord. We need you as we cry out to you together.

    Amen. Can we stand together? We want to worship God in this place. We want to adore him for his power and his grace in our lives. Would you lift up your hands with me and your voice? Let's give God praise this morning.

    God, we thank you. We praise you, God. We magnify your holy name. God, you are worthy of all glory. You are worthy of all praise. Oh, you are worthy of all honor.

    Can I just remind you as we close? Listen, we cannot even get saved without admitting our need—admitting that we need help. The Lord cannot save anybody who doesn't think they need to be saved. And that's a really hard thing for men, by the way, to admit that they need help.

    I find it very amusing that in a service I'm speaking mostly to men, and the altar—there's no men because we're like, "That's not me. That's somebody else. Good, bad, good sermon, pastor. Somebody else." I don't like admitting that I need help here.

    So even though all of you precious ladies and Tyler—Brian, Brian responded. Thank you, brother. I want to pray. I want to believe God. We need to pray because here's what's really happening under the surface: is that men are struggling.

    And you know how you can tell? Is that men get angry. The way that we process emotion is that we get angry. If you show me an angry man, I'll show you a depressed man—a man who is lacking friendships, connection with other people. And we process that in anger.

    And you know somebody who's always, you know, a guy who's always walking around stewing, you know, like a bubbling pot waiting to just over-explode? That's usually a man who's depressed and lonely.

    And so we're going to pray. Maybe that's you, and you were, you know, didn't want to come forward. That's okay. But ladies, I want to pray for you as well. I want to pray for men in your life because there's a lot of them that are not here this morning because of this issue.

    And so let's pray together. Let's lift up our hands. Let's say, "God in heaven, I recognize how needy I am, how broken and lost I am without you. I repent for going my own way and trusting in myself. I admit that I need you today. I need your presence. Without you, Lord, I am nothing. I'm asking you today to connect me with your spirit to other believers, to friends, brothers, and sisters in Christ, that in our church you would build powerful relationships and that together we would become the net that can gather up all the people you have in store.

    Lord, we want to be effective in this lost world, and you said that the world would know us by our love for one another. So Lord, give me a friend. Give me someone I can rely on, someone I can talk to, I can share details with, that I can bear their burdens and they can bear mine. And together, Lord, we can do your will.

    And we give you praise in Jesus' name. Amen. Come on, let's give the Lord praise right now. Father, we thank you.

Keep an eye on our Facebook Page for Daily Devotionals based on this message over the next five days.

Written with Love by Pastor Adam Dragoon

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Adam Dragoon
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The Kingdom of Heaven is Like Leaven